American Idol: One Hundred Seventy-One Dreams Left to Crush, One Hundred Seventy-One Dreams.


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American Idol: One Hundred Seventy-One Dreams Left to Crush, One Hundred Seventy-One Dreams…

Congratulations, America, you made it. Auditions for American Idol Season Six are officially over! One hundred seventy-two hopeful contestants have now made their way to Hollywood. If last night’s teaser was any indication, the upcoming weeks are going to be brutal.

The episode entitled “The Best of the Rest” was indeed one of the most entertaining this season. Edited like an '80s movie montage, Idol provided the goods -- hotties on roller skates, effeminate stretchy-men, and big heaping doses of momentum.

As they always do, Idol's producers saved several of the most intriguing contestants for last. These are the fresh-faced flies in the ointment, if you will, while the others were just flies on the poop. Twenty-nine-year-old Tami Gosnell, who Simon says “would have been a huge star in the '60s,” is sure to garner some of the cool kids' votes (you know, the ones that claim they “have to” watch Idol because they turned their remote control into a bong). Lakisha Jones, with her amazing Aretha-like voice and crying three-year-old child, is sure to garner some of the early “you go girl!” support. This is the way finalists are born, after all.

Most interesting of all might be Paul Kim, an Asian guy with a crazy good tone. He claimed to be auditioning for American Idol simply to bust up stereotypes of Asians being nothing more than "me so soddy" fall guys for the music industry. By God, if the man couldn’t sing! Idol's producers couldn’t help themselves from matching his image up with William Hung’s, though, and I just had to wonder who’ll end up making more money. If Paul Kim can get a fan base going, he’s got a shot, but the last I read, our man Hung has bagged over two million dollars in endorsements, commercial deals, and guest appearances at my house. So, who’s laughing now? Oh yeah, everybody is! But not for long.

Next week we'll witness the most vicious delousing in all of reality television this year. In this glorious two-episode train wreck, the number of contestants will get slashed from 172 to 24, and emotional blood will be spilled. Will Paul Kim make it? Toni Gosnell? Lakisha Jones? What about that guy with the goofy hair that I liked? There’s no way to tell.

All I know is that somebody’s going to cry, somebody’s going to get stabbed in the back, and a whole lot of people are going to need therapy. Good times!

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